Two Local Yokels:-
What's this piece of paper
   {the other one says} it's a letter from my girlfriend
But there's nothing on it, it's blank
   {the other one says} that's right she's not talking to me.

I'm going down to the Pig-n-Whistle tonight
   {the other one says} how far is it
It's only 4 miles away, but if you walk quick it's only 2.

You know Nasa has put a man on the moon
   {the other one says} that's right
Well they're going to put a man on the sun
   {the other one says}won't he burn to a crisp
Nasa has already thought of that, they're sending him at night....

I sweat like a brick!

You snore like a hawk!

Have a dekko! (meaning - Have a look)

It's blowing a hoolie! (meaning - A strong wind)

At the beach
The water is very tidy
"What does that mean" I said,
The waves keep going in and out quickly.

After cooking 83 Christmas dinners
Sue said "I Reckon I'll be dreaming of roman turkeys in my sleep tonight"
I said, "what are roman turkeys"?
She said, "Turkeys that roam about the place"